


Grief

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is dead lmao, Death, Five Stages of Grief, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8242196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: Alexander dies on a Sunday, and the whole world seems to stop breathing when he does.





	1. Shock and Denial

Alexander dies on a Sunday, and the whole world seems to stop breathing when he does.

The three of them should have seen it coming. Alex had been frantic for weeks, locking himself in their spare room for hours, emptying out and reorganizing boxes of his stuff, writing notes in every book he owned that meant something to him. Sometimes one of them would go up to the door and just hear typing, continuing on for hours and never stopping.

The day he died, he said goodbye to them. They hadn't known it would be the last thing he told them, so they just smiled and kissed him, watched as he walked out of their apartment. Watched as he walked out of their lives.

Alex had prepared for his own death like it was a test, and they're not sure if he passed or failed.

At his funeral, Lafayette isn't there. They refuse to face Alexander's death and John and Hercules don't force them to. They go to the funeral because John is giving his eulogy and needs someone there to support him. They would much rather be at home with Lafayette, but instead they're here, watching their worst nightmare take place in front of their eyes.

Everyone is silent when John steps up to the pulpit, letting go of Hercules' hand as he does. Hercules realizes that he has no idea what happened during the service up until this point. He's not sure whether to be concerned or not.  
  
He decides not to be, to push whatever he could feel about this aside because this is his boyfriend's funeral and his other boyfriend is about to speak at it.

As John talks about Alexander, Hercules watches but he can't hear him. It sounds like someone has shoved cotton in his ears and everything he used to be able to hear is being drowned out by a high pitched ringing noise that brings him to tears.

Hercules tries not to notice it, tries to act like he can hear John, but it just gets worse. An odd sensation fills his body, makes him feel like an hourglass that's just been flipped over, like sand is filing his body and replacing every other feeling. His hands feel cold and like nothing at all at the same time.

He can register that he's swaying back and forth gently. He tries to stand still but he can't. He can't hear, see, or feel most of his body by this point. He thinks John is noticing because he's been staring at Hercules for five minutes while he speaks and his gaze one of the only things that Hercules can actually grasp.

What happens comes to Hercules backwards. First, John screams, then Hercules falls onto the floor and doesn't necessarily care because he still can't feel anything.

John runs to him, kneeling over his body, tears dripping onto Hercules' skin. He's yelling something but Hercules still can't fucking _hear_ anything so he just nods and takes John's hand when he's offered it.

They drive home from the funeral in silence.

It ends when they're halfway home. The ringing in his ears stops, his eyes refocus, and it feels like coming home to his own body after being gone for a long time. He feels sweaty.

The two of them fall into bed on opposite sides of Lafayette and don't explain why they're home early but Lafayette doesn't ask anyway.

The next day Hercules wakes up and John asks him if he's okay for the first time since Alex died and he says yes and doesn't mean it.

Two days after that, Hercules and Lafayette trudge out of their room to see John smiling at them while he makes breakfast. Hercules swears that his heart almost stops when John asks where Alex is and genuinely does not know why that question is so harrowing to them.

They just stare at him for a while before Lafayette shakes their head and goes back to their room, forcing Hercules to be the one to tell him.

"John, where do you think Alex is?"

"In our room? Where else would he be?"

John, his John, their John, has no idea that Alexander died. He stands there completely unaware of that tragedy and how much it hurt, how much it still hurts. He's living with a piece of him missing and doesn't know it.

Hercules saw John when Alex died. Watched as every part of him crumbled like an avalanche. He'd collapsed on the floor, screamed like he'd gotten shot. Hercules was the one who picked him up off of the floor, who managed to hold him down when he tried to escape and plead with Alexander to come back.

He watched John fall apart the first time, he doesn't want to be the cause of the second one.

"John, do you remember what happened last week? With Alex?" John puts the pieces together one by one, and Hercules can see him break all over again.

"He's dead, isn't he?" John asks even though he already knows the answer. Hercules sniffs, closing his eyes and nodding as tears fall down his cheeks.

"Yes."

"I forgot that. Alexander died and I forgot that, I thought that he was still here. I thought he was asleep in our room with you guys. How could I forget that he died?"

"I don't know, love, I don't know."

"I'm sorry."  
  
"You don't have to be. We're all still dealing with this, you don't have to worry."

John is crying now too, falls into Hercules' arms and stays there.

It's not the last time he forgets. After that day, his memory of Alex's death comes and goes, and every single time he breaks down when Hercules tells him the truth.

The sixth time he does it, Hercules can't remember what to do. He can't feel his own body anymore, not in a physical sense but in a mental one. He'll sit on their couch for hours trying to remember what it's like to feel something but he can't. He's numb to his own emotions, like they're hidden and locked away somewhere he can't find them.

He isn't sure he wants to find them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I'm gonna fuck this up but this is good rn so let's see


	2. Anger

Hercules comes back into his body after Alex's funeral, and even when he does he feels like he left a part of him behind.

Maybe Alexander took it.

After Alex's death, he feels that sometimes he's in his body and sometimes not. He'll get up to go do something and leave his body behind and when he finally manages to come back he's not in the same state he was when he left. When he's gone nothing can make him come back.

He watches as John pours four mugs of coffee instead of three. He stares at him as he finds a way to explain this to him again before his mind goes off without the rest of him.

When he comes back, Lafayette is clutching Alex's mug, still full, in their hand hard enough to break it. They're yelling and John is yelling back and Hercules can't make out one word that they're saying and he doesn't want to.

John screams at the top of his lungs that Alex is dead and that he's never coming back.

Lafayette breaks the mug and leaves the room.

John breaks down on the floor and tries to leave the situation.

Blood and coffee stains the floor, the jagged shards of the mug, and the countertop that Lafayette brushed against when they left the room. It drips beyond where John can see, trailing into the hall and no doubt into their bedroom.

John is sobbing. He didn't remember that Alex was dead until he said it, until he yelled it at Lafayette and he can't take it back now.

He wants to take it back. He wants to take back his life before Alex died where he could remember things and Lafayette wouldn't hate him. He wants to take back that time and that feeling and he wants to burn this and everything that this is. He wants this to be a nightmare, for him to wake up next to Alex and be able to kiss him and know that that is real.

John looks down at his hands, almost screams when Lafayette's blood covers his hands.

Screams louder when he feels the ceramic that sliced into his skin and realizes that it's not Lafayette's blood.

Hercules picks John up and takes him into their bathroom, spends ten minutes patching up all of the small cuts on his hand.

"Do you think Lafayette hates me?"

"No, never. I think Lafayette is handling this in their own way, and that we have to let them," Hercules tells him, kissing his forehead. John nods, wiping the tears off of his face.

Once Hercules is sure that John is okay, he takes their first aid kid goes and checks on Lafayette.

They're kneeling on the ground, leaning back on their heels, an old shirt wrapped around their hand.

It's Alex's shirt.

"Hercules," they spit out through clenched teeth. Their hand shifts and they hiss at the pain, cursing under their breath.

Hercules doesn't say anything, just kneels and takes Lafayette's hand in his.

"I do love you, you know," Lafayette whispers after a while.

"I know you do, but I'm not really the one that needs to hear it right now."

"Hercules-"

"He thinks you hate him, Lafayette. I know that this has been a lot for all of us but you can't make it harder, and you need to tell us when we're making it harder for you."

"Okay."

"I love you too, by the way."

"I know."

They're both silent as Hercules places a band-aid on the palm of their hand.

Lafayette doesn't speak to John for the rest of the day.

That night, Hercules is lying between the two of them on their bed. John burrows his arms underneath Hercules' torso and pulls him closer and Hercules can tell that John thinks he's asleep.

"What are you doing?" Lafayette asks over their shoulder. John stops moving, Hercules stops breathing.

"I'm trying to hug Hercules."

"Why?"

"I'm cold."

Lafayette sighs, rolls away from Hercules and out of their bed completely. Hercules can hear them walk around to the other side of their bed, getting in next to John and, Hercules guesses, curling around him. Hercules still has his eyes closed but he can feel John's tears fall onto the pillow they're both lying on.

"Thank you," John whispers.

"I love you."

John is silent for a long time. Hercules isn't sure how much time passes before John turns away from him but it feels like an eternity.  He can hear the unmistakable sound of them kissing and Hercules almost starts crying too.

"I love you too."

Most of the time it's not like that. Sometimes Hercules isn't the one patching things up but the one yelling. He'll scream until his throat burns and by the time he stops he can't remember anything he just said but it doesn't matter because John and Lafayette are staring at him like he's a monster and he agrees with them.

They're falling apart and they know it. They still love each other and they're still in love with each other but they are not themselves right now.

John barely leaves their house anymore.

The first time Lafayette dragged him outside because they were worried about him, they walk past the park where John kissed Alex for the first time.

The memories of Alex and how much he loved him all come back to him at once and for a moment he feels like he's back there. He can almost feel it, the bright blue sky melting away to the darkness of that night. He can taste the cherry chapstick on Alex's lips and the way Alex had taken his hands out of his pockets to grab John by the waist.

The memory fades away before he can remember it all. Before he can even try to hold onto to this memory, Lafayette is shaking him out of it and it feels like losing Alex all over again as it slips away from him. He escapes Lafayette's grip and runs home, rushing past Hercules, who is asleep on the couch, and going to their room and slamming the door closed.

Lafayette is home soon after, is about to go in their room when he hears John speaking, but nobody else is in the room.

"I hate you." He spits, and Lafayette's heart breaks at the thought of John saying that to them. They want to go in and plead with him to forgive them even though they're not sure what they did wrong.  
  
"You fucking asshole. I loved you so much, and you just left me here, left us here. We're not the same without you and it's fucking awful. Sometimes I can't even remember why it's awful, sometimes I don't even want to. You did this to me and I can't even tell you about it because you're fucking dead."

Lafayette knocks on the door, opens it without waiting for a response.

"Did you hear that?" John questions and Lafayette nods.

"You can talk to us."

"No, I can't. We loved Alex more than anything, and me cursing at him in a way I've never done in his life is something I need to do by myself. I'm not going to let you watch me curse out our boyfriend when he's dead. What kind of person does that make me if I do that?"

"A normal one. It's normal to be mad at someone when they die, you can't help what you feel." They struggle on the word die, and even when they get it out it sounds like they're lying, more to themselves than John.

"I can hide it, though."

"Not from us."

"Don't be so sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SNL HAS ME ALL KINDS OF FUCKED UP I CRIED THREE FUCKING TIMES I HATE MY LIFE


	3. Bargaining and Dialogue

It's been three months now, and they're not getting any better.

Lafayette rarely ever sleeps in their room anymore, and even when they do they stay as far away from John and Hercules as possible. They go back to work and stay there late and they go out with the Schuylers on the weekends and don't come home until they have to.

Hercules and John don't understand it, and that scares them. Lafayette acts like the two of them don't exist, but they still stay awake and wait for them to come home anyway. They try to talk to them even though they know sometimes they're not listening but they have to try because if they don't then they're lost.

Lafayette is out again. They told Hercules and John that they would be home hours ago but they're almost never home by the time they say they will be anymore.

Hercules and John are lying on top of their bed staring up at the ceiling because they have nothing better to do. It's gotten dark since Lafayette left but neither of them have the energy to get up and turn on a light.

"Do you think he knows how much we miss him?" John asks him, and Hercules isn't sure how to answer.

Hercules has always sort of believed in an afterlife, whether it be heaven or something else, but now he isn't sure. He had faith in that idea because it was distant, it never hit him close enough to make him question its existence. Then Alex died and it was like someone walked into that idea and shot it to hell.

"How do you want me to answer this?"

"Doesn't matter."

Hercules takes John's hand and holds it between them.

"I don't think he can hear us."

"You think he's just dead?"

"Maybe?"

"I think that it'd be easier if he was just dead."

"Really?" Hercules asks and John nods next to him.

"If he's dead he can't see what we've become without him here," he whispers. Tears fall from his eyes and down into his hair.

"They're gonna come back, John."

"Do they even want to? It's not like our relationship has been exactly stable in the past few months. They probably don't even want to be with us anymore."

"Don't _say_ that. And besides, we have our better days."

"And we have a ton of awful ones."

Hercules doesn't know how to respond to that. He agrees with John that recently their lives haven't been the best, that losing Alex was hard and dealing with it is almost harder, but also that without this they would fall apart, that they need to deal with it before they can move on.

"I think we'll get through it," he says.

"I think Lafayette should come home," John mutters.

"They will."

"Why couldn't Alex just be here? If he was here Lafayette would be too and we would be happy and I wouldn't have to remember that he died because he wouldn't be fucking dead."

"John."

"I'm fine, I'm fine! I just want him back. I would give anything to have him back, Hercules."

"Me too, love."

"Why can't we just wake up tomorrow and find out that this has all been a dream?"

"Because that's not how our life works, as much as I want it to be."

The two of them lie there in silence until Lafayette comes home, and when they walk into the room it's like they've all been caught doing something they shouldn't be.

"You were supposed to be asleep," Lafayette tells them.

"And you were supposed to be home before the sun set," John responds, glaring at them.

"I'm sorry, I lost track of time."

"Yeah, you've been doing that a lot lately," John remarks.

"John," Hercules says, shakes his head because they don't need another fight right now. They've fought enough since Alex died.

"I've been losing tack of things a lot? At least I can remember the death of my own boyfriend, John, not that you even _want_ to remember that sometimes," they spit.

John stares at them for a moment before he runs out of the room, almost knocking Lafayette over as he passes them. The knock of their shoulders against each other seems to make Lafayette understand what they said to him. The front door gets opened and slammed closed before Lafayette can even find the words to apologize to him.

"Hercules, I-"

"Don't. Just don't," Hercules warns as he gets up and leaves the room.

John doesn't get far. He's only half a block away from their apartment by the time Hercules comes rushing out to get him. Hercules sprints after him and John doesn't turn until Hercules is right behind him. He jumps before he recognizes who it is and even then he just stands there.

"Come home," Hercules pants, struggling to get his breath back.

"Why would I go somewhere I'm not wanted?"

"Of course we want you there," Hercules tells him but John doesn't believe it.

It takes a while to convince John come home, and when they do Lafayette is sitting in front of the door waiting for them.

"John!" They scramble to stand up, and it's not until they do that Hercules notices that they have a picture frame in their hand. They wipe tears from their eyes and put the frame down, allowing Hercules to see the picture through the darkness.

It's them, all of them, standing shoulder to shoulder. The original intent of the picture was for them to be serious, but Alex had started laughing so they all followed, and the picture they ended up with was one of their favorite ones.

The picture used to be something precious to them, now it just hurts.

"Lafayette," John whispers.

"John, I am so sorr-"

"Stop. I'm going to go to bed and whether or not you come with us is your choice. Lord knows we've gotten used to you not being there when we needed you."

Hercules follows John, looking at Lafayette once before closing the door behind him.  
  
"I shouldn't have said that," John mutters, pulling his shirt over his head and flopping down on the mattress.  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"Do you think they'll come in?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Can we just go to sleep before we find out?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
Hercules still isn't asleep when Lafayette comes in. They creep through the room, crawl into bed with them but keeps their distance.  
  
"You can come closer, he won't be mad," Hercules whispers over John, but Lafayette shakes their head.  
  
"I hurt him, and I need to earn back his trust before I can act like things are okay between all of us."   
  
"Okay, I get that."  
  
"I love him."  
  
"Tell him that next time."  
  
"I love you, too. I always will."  
  
"I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE FAKE NAILS ON AND CAN BARELY TYPE BUT I CANT TAKE EM OFF
> 
> also this has nothing to do with what it's supposed to do with but yknow w/e
> 
> also also!!: for the people asking how alex died, I have no idea!! it's left abstract on purpose so it's kind of just up ton interpretation :////


	4. Depression

John doesn't think that there's anything worse than staring one of the people you love most in the world dead in the eye as they tell you that they're moving out.

Lafayette had been taking Alex's death differently than Hercules and John had, that was obvious, but even this was odd for them. Staying together was an unspoken promise that they made, and Lafayette moving out either breaks that promise or strains it.

"What?"

"It's not forever," they say, as if that makes it any better.

"You're leaving?" Hercules asks.

"I just want to get away from this," they respond, picking at their fingernails, chipping away the pastel blue nail polish.

"You want to get away from _us_."

"I didn't say that!"

 "But that's what you meant."

"No it's not! I love you both more than anything, and I'm never going to leave you forever. I would never do that. This isn't even about you or because of you. It's something that I'm doing for myself and you need to let me."

"Okay," John chokes out, tears filling his eyes as he nods at them.

Lafayette nods back and walks away from them, going into their spare room and getting out their suitcases. They don't speak to either of them as they pack, not that any of them try to make any actual conversation.

They could talk about a lot of things. They could talk about Alex dying, because it's been five months and they still haven't really done it. They could talk about where Lafayette is about to move to or the real reason that they're doing this. They could talk about how they love each other and they could try and fix things between them instead of watching their relationship fall apart.  
  
But they don't.

They don't talk about any of that, maybe because of the walls they're building between each other, maybe because it hurts too much. It's not the point of why, reasons aren't of importance in this. The point is that they remain silent so Lafayette packs and neither John nor Hercules try to stop them from leaving.

Lafayette doesn't tell them where they move, and John and Hercules guess that they understand, but it would be nice knowing what they were doing sometimes or even if they're alive.

One month after Lafayette left and stopped talking to them, Hercules closes his studio and isn't sure when he's going to open it again.

He doesn't tell John about it at first, instead he goes to his studio anyway and tries to work but can't. He goes home with John and when they get back to their apartment he can't remember anything he did that day. It happens over and over again and he doesn't know how to make it stop.

John finds out two weeks later, and the screaming match that follows is one Hercules is glad Lafayette didn't see.

He reopens his studio because he has to, because their rent still needs to be paid and they have to eat.

John and Hercules start building a life without Alex or Lafayette in it and the feeling of moving on from their life both before and after Alexander's death is bittersweet in every sense.

Just when they think it's about to get better, John passes out in the middle of a meeting and Lafayette is the first person to show up at the hospital.

It's like meeting them for the first time again when Hercules sees Lafayette in that hallway.

They're barefoot, heels neatly tucked underneath a chair as to not trip anyone, pacing around in circles, and picking at one of the fake nails that they're wearing. When they see Hercules rushing towards them Lafayette is so shocked that they rip their fake nail clean off and don't even grimace that part of their real nail came off with it.

"Hercules! I don't know what happened. I was in the meeting and he was talking and he looked fine and then he was just silent for a long time and then he just fell over and I-"

"Lafayette."

As soon as Hercules said their name, it's like he broke something. They burst into tears, heaving sobs as they fall into Hercules arms and it's like coming home after being gone for so long.

They wait in that hallway for hours, drifting off to sleep before it even gets dark because they're still not allowed to see him.

A nurse comes by at around eight o'clock when it actually is dark, tells them that John is fine and should be let out tomorrow, and that both of them can go see him if they want. Hercules thanks her before he follows Lafayette in rushing into John's hospital room and throwing their arms around him.

"I didn't think you'd come," John whispers to Lafayette. They lean away, tears falling down their face, leaving marks on John's hospital gown.

"Of course I did. You think I'd just leave you here unconscious in a hospital room before Hercules could get here?"

"To be honest I wasn't sure. After the way things have been going the past few months I really don't know where we stand as a relationship right now."

Everything, other than the machines beeping in the room, is silent. Lafayette looks heartbroken, and John can't find it in himself to feel sorry. He doesn't like hurting them, never would, but it's the truth and he feels that it's time they spoke about it.

"I'm not sorry that I left. In the past few months that I've been gone, it helped me. It helped me deal with Alex dying and it made me realize how stupid I was being and some of the awful stuff I said to you guys. Oh my god, the stuff I said to you guys? I'm surprised you didn't just break up with me."

"We said some pretty bad things to you too, and I know we were all dealing but it doesn't change the fact that we said them and that we need own up to that," Hercules says.

"I think we need to talk about things," John tells them, taking both of their hands in his and smiling that he finally gets to do this again.

They spend the night talking. Talking about Alex and Hercules closing his studio and the fact that Lafayette has been living with the Washington's since they left and they've all been keeping it secret. They talk about what they want to do with their relationship and how much they love each other and how they don't want to end things between them.

The walls they were building are in shambles now, and all they have left to do is rebuild themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOTALLY FUCKING FOR G O T THE CENTRAL THEME OF THIS AND ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO AND I HA T E BUT WH A TE VER ITS CHILL


	5. Acceptance

They come back together slowly.

Lafayette had gone home with them after John got out of the hospital, collapsing with John and Hercules in their bed. 

They got a new mattress, Lafayette notices. The dip in the mattress where they used to sleep is gone, replaced by something newer and admittedly more comfortable. They'll have to fix that.

"Welcome home," John mumbles, falls asleep right after.

Lafayette leaves the next night, promising that it's not forever, that they have to sort some stuff out before they move back in. John cries and Hercules tries to stop them but in the end Lafayette still walks out the door and neither of them a really that shocked.

One week later, Hercules and John get a text from Lafayette saying that they're ready to come home if the two of them are willing to take them. 

Lafayette moves back in, and they don't fall back into place like they want to. 

Lafayette is afraid to stand too close to them, refuses to kiss them, jumps when Hercules or John touch them in any way. They break another mug when John asks them if they can drive to work together, don't speak a word on the way there. 

John still forgets about Alex dying sometimes, but he's trying and that's what matters to him. 

Lafayette tells him that he's doing better, that they're proud of him. John wants to kiss them more than anything else but they're curled up in a ball across the room from him so he takes it as a sign to not do anything, so he smiles and they smile back and he considers that a victory.

Hercules is himself now more than he isn't, comes and goes like most things do, learns to accept that it's doesn't just got away. That it might never go away.

The first time Lafayette kisses one of them, it's John, and it's six months since they've last done it. 

Lafayette is lying in between them on their pull out couch, picking at their nails in anticipation. John is lying next to them, arms wrapped around their waist as they both watch House Hunters. Hercules is sitting up next to them, bowl of popcorn in his lap as he tries to stay awake.

John and Lafayette are betting on the second house, a colonial house with a short commute that's ten thousand dollars over budget.

Hercules is betting on the first house, a Victorian style house with an even shorter commute and a pool that's just at their budget but needs more work than it's really worth.

They pick the second house and Lafayette yelps, grabs John's face and crashes their lips together before they know what they're doing.

"Oh my god," Lafayette whispers, not moving away yet.

"I've been waiting for that for months," John tells them, and Lafayette smiles before kissing him again.

They kiss for a long time, long enough for House Hunters International to come on before they break apart. 

Hercules isn't looking at them, instead he's staring ahead at the TV, trying not to smile as he watches a woman walk through an apartment. 

"Hercules," Lafayette says, moving away from John to crawl up to him and kneel on the mattress.

"Lafayette," Hercules says, tearing his eyes away from the screen to look at them.

Lafayette kisses Hercules, soft, gentle. His mouth tastes like butter and salt in almost a bad way but they couldn't be bothered to care. 

After they break apart, Hercules sets the bowl of popcorn down on the end table next to him and goes to lie next to them. Lafayette lets him wrap an arm around their waist and pull them close to him, John inching closer as a result. 

They all fall asleep soon after that, feeling a little more like themselves than they have in the past few months. 

One year after Alex dies, the three of them walk out to his grave to see him. There a flowers already there from someone, but it doesn't stop them from placing their bouquet next to it. 

They think about what's happened since they last saw Alex alive, about his funeral and how they almost broke up and how they got back together. They think about the fighting and the screaming and how it all melted into arguments about what movies they wanted to watch or where they wanted to go out on dates. 

They're not sure what it would be like if Alex were here, if he were alive with them now. All three of them know that they'd be different, that who they were a year ago is not who they are now, but they wonder exactly how different they'd be.

"Ready to go?" Hercules asks and John and Lafayette nod, turning and walking back to their car. 

They leave the cemetery confident in the fact that even though Alex is dead, he's not gone, and they're ready to live their life without him, no matter what may happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end!! this also is way too short but w/e I'm going to a haunted house soon so my disappointment in myself will be replaced by unadulterated fear!!


End file.
